Why are women such a hle?

I don't like to date them anymore. And with all the trouble people have been getting into being romantically involved with animals...that is out of the question! However, this fall I found a really gorgeous punkin. I named her Janice Lantern. (I am not gay). She is round in all the right places and she has the cutest smile. I have heard how women have had steamy relationships with carrots, cubers, and bananas. Is it wrong for me to love my punkin? I know she won't last long so I have ordered a greenhouse so I can grow our offspring. I only hope they turn out to be as beautiful as Janice on the inside and outside. Do you think they will eventually allow people to marry punkins?